Lunatic Cooking
by Ocarina Hero
Summary: What happens when Saix bakes brownies to share and a mysterious member adds a "special" ingredient? The story is based off a RP my friends and I did on Tinier Me. Rated "T" for swearing.     This story has a genderbent Saix and Zexion


This story was Co-Authored by: Chumble

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or the Organization Xiii. The OC X belongs to Chumble because he made him.

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"I'm Hungry," She thought aloud after sipping her fresh cup of overly bitter coffee. It's been a long and rather peaceful day for Saix, she wasn't really used to having a day with absolutely nothing to do, unlike Axel and Demyx the laziest of the other members. The peacefulness of the manditory free-day almost made her impatient since she wasn't used to avoiding work. As if responding to her statement, her stomache growled loudly and after looking at the clock that hung above one of the door frames she saw that yes it was indeed lunchtime.

Saix placed her coffee on the counter and walked over to the refrigerator, to see just what she could find. She opened the door and sighed as she looked inside at the near empty fridge. Apparently a moron had raided the fridge and left only eggs,chocolate mix, and half a jar of milk. "Oh great just what am i supposed to do now?" She mumbled to herself while grabbing the items from the fridge and then slammed the door shut. "Guess I'll just bake something." she said with a sigh as she then took an unopened pack of flour from the cabinet. Then walked over to the cabniet where the dishes are usually found she took out a large bowl perfect for mixing and a wooden spoon from one of the drawers. She then walked back to the counter and hastily opened the flour pack, causing the powdery flour to burst into the air with a puff of smoke like a mushroom cloud. She swat at the air as the flour settled in her hair and face, causing her look like one of the clowns in Demyx's picture books.

Saix lost her patience and wiped her face angrily and glared at the flower bag with a murderous look that'd chill the bones of any living being. The bag was however was immune, but it brought her "joy" to imagine it burning in the 300º oven.

Today was Sunday and she was in high spirits, she wasn't going to allow a bag of flour or a moron ruin her day off. She had wasted too many hours to count from her precious life dealing with Xemnas' incompitence and large stacks of paperwork without so much as a "thank you" not once. She despised wasting her time on ridiculous paper work. Then there was assigning missions to the members and getting into arguments over it, just last week she had assigned Larxene a mission in Atlantica and got brutally shocked for doing so. But today was the only day of the week she had to herself, the only day to relax and she was planning on taking full advantage of it.

"The four bag will pay later." she said irratated then took a deep breath and returned to making the brownies with a somewhat forced smile.

She grabbed the bowl and carefully poured the milk in. Then happily added the flour and chocolate mix stirring it in the bow as she went, then she got the small pad locked sugar jar and sighed.

There was a certain member in the organization who was not allowed to have sugar so for not only her's but the other members' safety as well. She ignored the lock and without hesitation, smashed the lid with her bare fist not feeling a single bit of pain as the porcelain lid shattered. She poured all the contents of the jar into the brownie mix, too hungry to care if it was too much or not. She grabbed the eggs and tossed them whole into the mix.

"Hmm it's missing something..." Saix thought aloud. She frowned and tapped her head with the mixing spoon. "Ah yes, the brownie pan." Saix walked back to the cabinets and searched for the pan.

While Saix was temporarily distracted, X quietly left his hiding spot from behind the counter and snuck over to the brownie mix. Then he took a fist-sized black bag out of his coat pocket and tore it open, and looked up to make sure Saix wasn't looking and he soundlessly dumped the contents of the bag into the mix. He then took the spoon and quickly mixed it until it blended into the chocolaty mix.

"Here it is!" exclaimed Saix, holding up the pan with a triumphant, and oddly carnivorous, smile.

X nearly spilled the mix from Saix's sudden outburst. If Saix catches him messing with her brownies he wouldn't live to see tomorrow. Worst of all, her voice sounded oddly happy and a happy Saix almost never meant anything good. He shook that thought out his head and steadied the bowl on the counter top trying to make it look the same as Saix left it. He smiled to himself imagining how much fun it would be to watch the others eat the brownies which had his own "special" ingredient. He heard the cabinet being slammed shut and he silently walked off, excited to see how his devious plan will turn out.

Saix returned to the counter with a content smile then she poured the mix into the stick-free pan. using her foot, she opened the oven and placed the brownie tray inside.

- just long enough for the brownies to get done -

"Brownies smell good." X said as he walked back into the kitchen, pretending nothing had happened.

Saix glanced at him suspiciously. She looked at the tray of freshly baked brownies. "Ehh they probably suck," she said. She was going to throw the brownies in the trash when X quickly stopped her. He couldn't let his perfect plan get ruined. But he couldn't behave too suspicious or Saix will notice and if she finds out he messed with her cooking, he'd be beyond screwed.

"If you don't want them I'll take them, no need to waste food right?" he said trying not to arouse suspicion. Saix stared at him questioningly for a while before sighing calmly. "Ok ok though i have a weird feeling there's something in there that shouldn't be in there in the first place," she said looking between X and the brownies.

Before Saix could finish speaking, X had already left with the pan of brownies to the living area.

X walked into the living area carrying the pan of freshly baked brownies.

"YO Saix made brownies let's enjoy," he yelled as he took one one of the brownies and placed the pan on a nearby table.

Zexion looked up from the book she was reading at the mention of brownies. She was known to have a sweet tooth and adored anything that contained at least an ounce of sugar. Of course, she was the reason the sugar and cookie jars were pad locked. Zexion then marked the page of her book with a brown bookmark and put it on the table.

"It's been a long time since I had a brownie." She said aloud, and then took a brownie from the pan and stuck it in her mouth. "They taste really good," She mumbled to herself while eating the brownie.

"Ya," X watched as a few members got a brownie from the pan and tried to suppress his laughter. It wouldn't help if he laughed out loud.

Saix strode into the room and sat next to Zexion on the couch. "Thank you Zexion, I baked them you know," She said proudly, Zexion nodded and happily continued chewing on her brownie.

"It tastes kinda funny..." Zexion said after a while. She carefully chewed the brownie, inquiring the odd taste. Something tasted off about the brownie but didn't quite know what it was.

"Weird I didn't put anything suspicious in there." Saix replied with an incredulous look. "I'm not that kind of person I don't poison things." Saix took a brownie from the pan and inspected it. Since it looked perfectly fine, she then bit the brownie and chewed it for while. "Hmmm it does taste weird..." she admitted after a few minutes.

Zexion finished eating his brownie and asked "Does anyone else feel lightheaded?"

Saix then placed a hand on her forehead "I do."

Zexion stared at the brownies in the pan with wide eyes. Her face turning a brilliat shade of bright red.

Saix shook her head a few times, trying to shake off the fuzzy feeling in her head. She looked at Zexion, noting her oddly red face. "What is it?" Saix asked, even the sound of her own voice surprised her. Zexion then began giggling for no reason. "Uhhhhhh ummmmmm should i slap u silly?" Saix asked Zexion with a funny look causing Zexion to continue giggling uncontrollably.

"Hahaha dunno why I'm laughing HAHAHA," Zexion laughed. It was a strange thing to hear her laugh, since she always had a serious appearance and hardly ever smiled.

"Ummmmm weird uhhhh was there something I put in the brownies?" Saix asked looking around the room, Zexion smiled back at her while eating another brownie, her voice was somewhat slurred and bubbly "I dunno... hehe."

X watched the others and took the rest of the brownies Zexion didn't get. He ate them silently and tried not to laugh. Managing to somewhat suppress his laughter and finally spoke. "Zexy, what are you doing?" He asked as Zexion continued staring at Saix with wide eyes. "You wanna know why your acting so loopy?"

Zexion rubbed her eyes curiously. "Why?" She asked, her voice sounded somwhat drowsy. X burst out laughing "Cause i dumped a fat sack of Refer in the mix, they're "special brownies" or better known as SPACECAKE!"

"Why are you staring at me Zexion? God what the fuck X!" Saix yelled as X continued laughing and pointing at the others.

"Why you!" Zexion tried to stand but she fell off the couch, too dizzy to walk. "Why is the room spinning?" She asked, looking around frantically.

"Im getting dizzy," Saix yelled angrily as she looked at X with a glare. "What the fuck X I am never cooking around you anymore!"

X ignored them both and laughed so hard that he fell off his chair but he didn't really care at this point.

Zexion stared at Saix with big eyes. Saix shifted uncomfortable and Zexion tilted her head still staring at her. "WHAT ZEXION DON'T BLAME ME!" Saix yelled, hoping she would stop staring.

Zexion sat up and pointed dramatically at Saix. "YOU ATE MY PANDA!" An angry and high look spread across her face. Saix finally calmed down a bit and continued to sip her bitter coffee and glanced uncomfortably at Zexion who kept staring back. "WHAT IS IT ZEXION I AM ABOUT TO GO BESERK IF YOU KEEP LOOKING AT ME!" She yelled frustrated.

Zexion managed to stand but continued staring at Saix "YOU KNOW YOU ATE MY PANDA YOU BAKA!" She accusingly said and then wobbled a bit and fell on her face "Why dun my feet work! I can't breath!" Zexion screamed like a little girl.

"WHY YOU DONT ACCUSE ME!" Saix yelled loudly as she summoned her claymore. "Im not as dizzy as you are cause i only ate one, MOON SHINE DOWN!"

Zexion giggled and grabbed Saix's foot and laughed out loud holding on to it like an infant and giggled.

Saix got weirded out and she punched Zexion on the head with her fist. Zexion let go of her foot and lay face down for a few seconds before regaining consciousness and standing. "HEY DUN PUNCH ME IT'S MEAN!" She yelled while rubbing her scratched face.

Saix dismissed her Claymore and yelled loudly. "I've had ENOUGH of this nonsense," She grabbed the brownie pan and then left to go to the kitchen.

Zexion giggled and spread her arms out and ran in a circle. "NEW WORLD ORDER! HAHAHAHA," She laughed and then ran out the room screaming like an imbecile and fell down the stairs. For a moment it was silent.

X burst out laughing and pointing at the others. "hehehehajdkl;jadiejehehehddkajpseh ehhehedkladf;adsjehhehhehehheehhehe he," He tried to calm down but continued laughing wildly. "dka; ehehehehehehehehehehe," He then fell off his chair again and onto his face but continued laughing.

Meanwhile Saix shuffled in the kitchen and threw the pan out the window completely shattering it, too tired and annoyed to wash it. Then shuffled over to the fridge and wrote on a sticky pad "Do not cook around X."

(Look below to see X's profile)

Name: X

Organization number: 15 (XV)

weapons: twin keyblades that look like ultimate wepon called Ultima L and Ultima D

profile: came to organization as a nobody but due to experimentation on Vexen's behalf now has body heart and soul is know as a WHOLE due to this and has fallen for Larxene

title: master between

race: whole


End file.
